Mark my Words

Ever since I posted the picture of me burning my journals from last year, I have had a few people reach out to me and ask about my journaling experience, what I write about, and why the hell I would burn it all after all that work. Well, as part of my 20/20 in 2020 resolution, I thought I might do something a little crazy, which may or may not come as a shock to some of you, and actual share my journaling with you. No, I won’t share all of them, but I may share a few from time to time. I may also share some stories, some experiences, and some thoughts. I was very introspective in 2019, and I have come to a few conclusions. 

First off, the saying goes, you should try and do something that scares you everyday. Journaling is not scary, but sharing it with others is frightening. Being open and vulnerable isn’t something we humans come by naturally, but with a little work, maybe it is something that will make me closer to many of you. 

Secondly, I know many of us probably share the same fears, shames, and insecurities. I am going to put mine out there, not in a bragging sense (trust me, you will soon see the idiocracy of my being) but I am hoping it helps us all grow together, even if it is a small chuckle at a time. 

Thirdly, I just want to work on things, openly and honestly, and I am hoping you all can me out along the way. Some of the things I write about will be personal, some not, sometimes it will be funny or silly, and others may be the 3 am ramblings of an insomniac. Whatever the case, this will be me, coming to you, not for approval or advice, but sometimes when you need to get the thoughts out of your head and into the universe, you hope the universe is organic and listens, putting its own thoughts and love back to you.  In the book “The Alchemist” , Paulo Coelho writes “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”. So basically all of you, with your lovely minds and caring hearts, are part of my universe, and I am thankful for everyone one of you. 

To answer the most basic question I was asked, I journal pretty much everyday, typically in the early mornings as part of my daily routine, before my head has a chance to get too cluttered with other things. I will write about so many things, sometimes a funny story that happened the day before, or many times things that are on my mind and I just need to get them out. I once read that to keep thoughts in your head is to let them run loose like a bunch of wild horses, but to write them out with your own hand, you make it come to life, and at that point, you can control where the outcome goes. I can certainly tell you I wholeheartedly agree with this statement and once you start, you will see that you come to rely on the process and looking forward to it. 

Now as an editor’s note, I am not a professional writer, what you see will be full of mistakes, not verbalized well, and simply just bad at times. But it will be unfiltered and unplanned. I tend not to go back and change things once they manifest themselves to life on the pages or on the screen. I will just write, and at times, I may even make a complete u-turn and go a different direction.  Many times, I may just write a gratitude entry, to state the things I am grateful for and to actually see with my two eyes how fortunate I am. 

I don’t know how this little experiment will go or how long it will last. I will keep writing in my personal journal everyday, and I hope to come to you with something fairly regularly. I will keep it going as long as I feel the need to do so, and I hope that you will get something out of the stories I tell. I can’t promise the regularity of the works, but I can promise the honesty, and let’s face it, that’s all we really want from anyone right? Honesty. 

So with all that said, “let the wild rumpus start” , and let the wild things we fear in the dark come to the light, and hopefully when revealed, will show us that they were not fears at all, that maybe they were just things like the rest of us, that need to be seen and loved.